Your shift just started and you’re making your rounds to greet your patients for the day. There’s one patient in particular, at the end of the hall, who is not doing well at all. You know that he’s going to pass away soon, and his family has been in and out every single day this week. As you approach, you can hear his daughters in the hallway arguing with each other. It angers you, and you feel your blood start to boil. When someone is fighting for their life, peace and quiet and positivity are critical. Yet here these girls are loudly arguing in earshot of your patient. You want to yell at them, but you take a deep breath. Let’s face it – keeping your cool with difficult family members is hard. Yet, you have to do it. Here are some tips for keeping your cool with difficult family members as a nurse.
Three Tips for Keeping Your Cool with Difficult Family Members
You may think that difficult patients are the only thing you have to worry about when working as a nurse, but sometimes family members can be just as challenging. Do you struggle with keeping your cool with difficult family members? If so, here are some tips that can help you take the high road instead of lashing out at them when you’re frustrated with your patient’s family.
Keeping your cool with difficult family members can be challenging as a nurse.
1. Try to understand where they’re coming from
Dealing with illness is hard, and often times when family members are in the hospital all day worrying, they get stressed out and agitated. When keeping your cool with difficult family members, it’s important to try to understand where they’re coming from. Although it’s your job to take care of their loved one, think about it from their perspective. They have no control over whether your patient gets better or not, and they love that person very much. They also may not all agree on what they think should happen. Although they need to lean on each other, it’s not uncommon for family members to turn on one another when patients aren’t doing well.
2. Listen to what they have to say
Sometimes the family members of your patient need to vent. They need to feel like someone understands what they’re going through and that they care. When you sense frustrated people, whether they’re frustrated with the level of care their family member is receiving or simply just with the situation, try to ask questions. Giving the family members of your patient an outlet to vent can sometimes help mediate the situation and return more positive energy to your patient’s bedside. Plus, if it’s something that you or one of your coworkers is doing to upset them, you can correct the situation. Put yourself in their shoes. When you’re upset, sometimes you just need to vent and then you feel better. Try listening, and if it’s asked for, offering advice.
3. Make them feel comfortable with you
The last thing you can do when keeping your cool with difficult family members is probably the hardest. It comes down to your attitude and how you appear to them. You can’t reveal that you’re irritated, and you surely can’t be defensive. If you continue to show empathy, listen to what they have to say and be as friendly as possible toward them, it can help. What’s that old saying? Kill them with kindness. This is exactly what you have to do. Fake it until you make it, so to speak. Smile, offer a lending ear, and make sure that you’re someone that they feel comfortable with. If you’re defensive or judgmental, this can often escalate an already sensitive situation. Sometimes when we smile and pretend that we’re cool with a situation, we eventually calm our own nerves and everything turns out okay in the end.
What are some situations where you’ve struggled with keeping your cool with difficult family members? How do you handle these situations? Share with us in the comments below!
